Rebbezin Rochel :: Lend me your ears, don’t worry I’ll give them back.

Rebbezin Rochel

Some of my favorite quotes!

September 5th, 2006

Bob Hope, “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

Albert Einstein, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
“The hardest thing in the world is to understand income tax.”
“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking wih which we created them.”

Mark Twain, “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Jack Benny, “I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.”

Bertrand Russell, “No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.”

George Burns, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

Larry Gelbart, “One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.”

The best for last, Steven Wright:
“All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.”
“OK, so what’s the speed of dark?”
“When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.”
“Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.”
“The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.”
“If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.”
“Borrow money from pessimists-they don’t expect it back.”
“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”
“I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.”
“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the
ocean would be if that didn’t happen. ”
“So, do you live around here often? ”
“There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.”
“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”
“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.”
“It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is; it’s always room-temperature.”