November 13, 2006

When to give mussar

Filed under: Blog Torah — Reb Moshe @ 4:31 am

People are always giving others advice and mussar, thoughts on their character traits, during the wrong time. When a person is up, that is when you should encourage them in matters of personality gains and encouragement in life. If someone is down, what they need to know is that you are there for them and respect them. Gently you may also be able to throw in thoughts of encouragement and faith. Then when they are up again, they will heed further advice which would enable them not to fall again.

4 Comments

  1. Mussar is something that an individual should take upon himself and perform a daily accounting of his deeds. Where mussar is concerned people shouldnt be giving advice period unless they are a great tzaddik themselves and have corrected themselves according to the very mussar they preach (the Chofetz Chaim wrote extensively why today we have lost the ability to rebuke properly-due to our many flaws). As per the Baal HaTanya, the internal battle of our souls is not visible to anyone but G-d Himself. A seemingly righteous tzaddik may not be so internally and an outwardly rasha may not be as wicked as he seems to the human eye. In order to uplift others the positive should always be encouraged and emphasized and a person should be extremely humble. Harping on the negative leads to no positive benefits (in most cases). For those seeking character refinement the must reads are Mesilat Yesharim, Chovot ha Levavot and Orchot Tzaddikim.

    Comment by yossel — November 14, 2006 @ 1:35 am

  2. thanks, that was a nice addition. Far more help can be done for people through encouragement then through putting them down. You have to be skilled in the art of rebuke and know the time, place and nature of the person you are SUPPOSEVELY trying to help. As Rebbe Nachman says, many times when we give rebuke, really we are talking to ourselves. The gemarah says, “we see the problems of others only when, we too have this same fault”.

    Comment by Reb Moshe — November 14, 2006 @ 2:24 am

  3. “…the must reads are Mesilat Yesharim, Chovot ha Levavot and Orchot Tzaddikim.”

    Are any of these tranlated to English? I should read all three! :/

    Comment by Ralph Michael — August 27, 2007 @ 8:19 pm

  4. A seemingly righteous tzaddik may emagrecer com dietas e remedios not be so internally and an outwardly rasha may not be as wicked as he seems to the human eye. In order to uplift others the positive should always be encouraged and emphasized and a person should be extremely humble.

    Comment by emagrecer — February 4, 2017 @ 4:19 pm

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