|Talk about being overwhelmed. How is one supposed to decide their
future when they don't know what will be. What they like now may not
be the same in a few years. You know, I guess I had it lucky because
even when I was very young, I always knew all the things I wanted to
do. It is pretty ironic actually. One of my goals from when I was a
mere 12 years old was to become a writer and here I am writing this
now. Though I had other goals thereafter and I did many of those
two, the end of the matter was my first thought. So I guess, like I
said, I kind of had it easy. I also didn't have family pressure to
go to Yeshiva or College, the decision was my own.
I have to be honest with you, I don't want to sit here and write
you lies just to make your parents happy. Certainly I believe a
person should get a good education but to recommend a religious
person go to a secular college is like telling a blind person to
flip knives and try to catch them. It is next to impossible for a
religious person not to be spiritually destroyed today by full
attendance in a major college. I must be honest though, I have seen
a select few come out unscarred but lets be honest, this is rare.
So, with all the parental pressure to find a career and the
realistic difficulties in getting a high paying job, what should a
Let me put it this way to you though. You are the only one that
truly knows yourself and what you are affected by. If you know that
college will hurt you spiritually, then try to find another way to
get a degree or become a successful businessperson. There are online
degrees, entroponuership and even religious jobs one can do. If you
see for yourself a major job which requires a degree and you know
you can handle the environment then you make that decision but don't
let anyone put your spiritual life in jeopardy over money.
After-all, isn't it Hashem who provides. Also, be realistic, if you
are a woman and you plan to have a large family, maybe you don't
need a degree. I have hundreds of guests at my shabbos table from
yeshivos and seminaries in Israel and I always ask the boys and
girls what their plan is after yeshiva/seminary and many tell me
they are going to college. You know what I think about this, during
my kiddush Friday Night, I pray to Hashem that these kids are
protected from what is out there and that when they return to
America, they don't loose everything they have just gained. So my
friends, a year in Israel then a few years in secular school... What
are your spiritual expectations from doing this? Think this over.
Some of these people, I know without a doubt after a 4 year degree
they will be mothers and probably working from the house. Who told
them to go to college?
Then I am blessed to have truly brilliant minds who want to save
lives by being doctors, therapists and the like. These people, you
just know they will make it big in the secular world and make a
great kiddush Hashem. You can also tell that they are destined for
this path even though it might have some spiritual negative effects.
For them, maybe I worry all the more.
I have heard so many excuses for going to college from parents
but nobody seems to ever speak about spiritual responsibility for
ones kids. Reb Moshe puts it straight to you but I never push
someone to follow my views. Part of being a teenager is learning to
make the proper decisions for yourself. First gather the necessary
information and then search within yourself and know what is right
for you. Every person is an entirely different world.