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Reb Moshe's Holy Jewish Teens

 Reb Moshe's Torahs

 

Becoming Religious in a Secular Home

Frum and Feeling Alone

Not Enough Support

 

Coming Soon!

  Finding Yourself

  College/Yeshiva/Semiary

  Rav/Rebbe Blues

Frum in the Wrong Place

 

 

 

 

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Contact Reb Moshe for Advice:

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College Hmm...

 

 

 

Talk about being overwhelmed. How is one supposed to decide their future when they don't know what will be. What they like now may not be the same in a few years. You know, I guess I had it lucky because even when I was very young, I always knew all the things I wanted to do. It is pretty ironic actually. One of my goals from when I was a mere 12 years old was to become a writer and here I am writing this now. Though I had other goals thereafter and I did many of those two, the end of the matter was my first thought. So I guess, like I said, I kind of had it easy. I also didn't have family pressure to go to Yeshiva or College, the decision was my own.

 

I have to be honest with you, I don't want to sit here and write you lies just to make your parents happy. Certainly I believe a person should get a good education but to recommend a religious person go to a secular college is like telling a blind person to flip knives and try to catch them. It is next to impossible for a religious person not to be spiritually destroyed today by full attendance in a major college. I must be honest though, I have seen a select few come out unscarred but lets be honest, this is rare. So, with all the parental pressure to find a career and the realistic difficulties in getting a high paying job, what should a person do?

 

Let me put it this way to you though. You are the only one that truly knows yourself and what you are affected by. If you know that college will hurt you spiritually, then try to find another way to get a degree or become a successful businessperson. There are online degrees, entroponuership and even religious jobs one can do. If you see for yourself a major job which requires a degree and you know you can handle the environment then you make that decision but don't let anyone put your spiritual life in jeopardy over money. After-all, isn't it Hashem who provides. Also, be realistic, if you are a woman and you plan to have a large family, maybe you don't need a degree. I have hundreds of guests at my shabbos table from yeshivos and seminaries in Israel and I always ask the boys and girls what their plan is after yeshiva/seminary and many tell me they are going to college. You know what I think about this, during my kiddush Friday Night, I pray to Hashem that these kids are protected from what is out there and that when they return to America, they don't loose everything they have just gained. So my friends, a year in Israel then a few years in secular school... What are your spiritual expectations from doing this? Think this over. Some of these people, I know without a doubt after a 4 year degree they will be mothers and probably working from the house. Who told them to go to college?

 

Then I am blessed to have truly brilliant minds who want to save lives by being doctors, therapists and the like. These people, you just know they will make it big in the secular world and make a great kiddush Hashem. You can also tell that they are destined for this path even though it might have some spiritual negative effects. For them, maybe I worry all the more.

 

I have heard so many excuses for going to college from parents but nobody seems to ever speak about spiritual responsibility for ones kids. Reb Moshe puts it straight to you but I never push someone to follow my views. Part of being a teenager is learning to make the proper decisions for yourself. First gather the necessary information and then search within yourself and know what is right for you. Every person is an entirely different world.