CHILDREN:
“Children’s children are the crown of old men.” (Proverbs
17:6)
A crown is worn in order to show stature and nobility. Having grandchildren who go in the ways of Hashem is the greatest feeling of accomplishment.
“A wise son is a joy to his father.” (Proverbs 10:1)
It is not really honor or accomplishments that give pride to ones father. Rather, it is knowing that he has given his child the want of seeking wisdom. A parent’s main joy is watching the intelligence of their child grow.
“Your children are like olive plants around your table.”
(Psalms 128:3)
Olives can either be made into extra, refined oil or of lesser purity. It all depends on how they have been processed. The same goes for children, it all depends on how they have been educated.
Condition the youth according to his way, then even when
he grows old it will not desert him. (Proverbs 22:6)
If children are used
to being around holy parents who are devoted to Hashem, then that will be what
is normal in their eyes. This normalness will be their basis.
“You shall be holy to Me, for I, Hashem, am Holy, and I
have set you apart from all other peoples, that you should be Mine.” (Vayikra
20:26)
Just like Hashem set
apart His children, raising them above all other nations, so too, we must make
our children feel like they are most important to us.
“Be fruitful and multiply; fill up the earth and
sovereign over it.” (Genisis 1:28)
Children extend our
value and worth as an entity of the world. We see that the more children one
has, the more powerful their family becomes. One person only has so many
connections and can affect only so many but many together are far stronger.
Raising children takes ones strength but it also opens up many doors otherwise
closed.
“The rod of correction creates wisdom; but a child left
to himself brings disgrace to his mother.” (Proverbs 10:1)
Without the fear of
correction, a person can’t even begin to serve Hashem. They might try but they
do not have enough wisdom to overcome their negative character traits.
“He, who spares the rod, hates his son.” (Proverbs 13:24)
Many times when we should really be embracing our children, do we punish them and when we should rebuke them, we embrace them. A parent should try and find an appropriate balance of discipline depending on the needs of the individual child. It is certainly wrong to take the approach of being fully merciful.
“As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the
children of one’s youth.” (Psalms 127:4)
Children help their parents to see themselves in a realistic
light. By raising a family earlier in time, a person is able to strengthen
their own character far more then the older adult already set in their ways. We
learn so much from our children.
“Have I not calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned
child my soul is with me. (Psalms 131:2)
Even in times when
we take the holiness of our souls for granted, Hashem is still watching over us
like a mother does her nursing infant. As we mature and calm the negative
spirits within us, our soul is then shown its own strength similar to when a
child is being weaned from it’s mother.
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Usually siblings
follow after the behavior example of the first born children. This is why it is
very important to bringing up ones firstborn in such a way that they will be
balanced in behavior.
“May He bless the lads, and let them carry my name along
with the names of my fathers.” (Genesis 48:16)
It is a big
responsibility to carry on the name of ones family. One needs much strength and
bracha to live up to the merit of previous generations; there identity is truly
a part of us even today.
“Train a lad in the way he ought to go; he will not
swerve from it even in old age”. (Proverbs 22:6)
Many parents try to fulfill
their dreams through their children instead of training them on the individual
path they need.
“Come, children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear
of Hashem”. (Psalms 34:12)
To learn to fear
Hashem takes much discipline and learning from those wiser. If only we would
instill this in our children at a young age, it would remain with them as they
mature. A child learns fear of Hashem by the example given from watching their
parents and teachers.
“If I raised my hands against the fatherless… may my arm
drop off my shoulder.” (Job 31:21, 22)
We must be very
gentle with those who lost a parent. Their souls are very fragile and we must
fill their lack by making them feel a part of our own families.
“Perhaps my children have sinned and blasphemed Hashem in
their thoughts.” (Job 1:5)
A parent has
difficulty accepting the imperfections of their children. Maybe this is because
it is also their own imperfection.
“And make them known to your children and your children’s
children.” (Devarim 4:9)
We have to
understand the power of our raising children in the ways of Hashem. When we
teach them the right way, then they teach their children and others they
befriend. Then, they in turn teach it to their children & associates and
then spread the teachings even further. Therefore, there is no end to the
blessing that descends into the world from your bringing up children in the
ways of Hashem.
“She looks well to the ways of her household” (Proverbs
31:27)
It’s important for a
mother to not only care for the household but to look and truly see that the
path they are taking will lead them to up righteousness. Her ways should be
ways of tactful