Light Grow Brighter

“I Can See The Light Grow Brighter!”

Perhaps it will sound like I’m taking a preemptive strike. Instead I want you to see it as sharing. I’ve shared my hashkafa messages with my readers for so long, why stop now?

The Torah tells us; Hashem said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. Hashem saw that the light was good, and Hashem separated between the light and the darkness.

According to the Rambam, Hashem willed that from a heavenly substance there should come forth a shining matter called “light”. Rashi explains that the light was too strong so it needed to be shared and a part was set aside for the righteous in the hereafter.

Darkness was formed from this light, since they could not share the same space they were divided and the day was light and the night darkness. Light and darkness cannot share the same space. The difference between night and day is as Reb Moshe Feinstein (Z’tzl) explained the posuk, ‘lehagid baboker chasdecha veunascha balayalos’ meaning, ‘to relate your kindness in the day and your faith in the nights’. At night, during darkness we need faith to believe. During the light of the day when we could see the kindness of Hashem we can believe without the lessons of faith.

In 1988 a family came to us for Shabbos with his wife and daughter. After the meal was served he asked me if I mind that he would sing a personal song. I watched as he took his young daughter and began singing with her ‘kol mah sheusuh hakodosh boruch hu letov hu usuh’ which translates to, ‘everything that Hashem does is all for the best!’ He sang this song first at a slow pace and then with a bit rhythm, and as the he repeated each line their smile got brighter and brighter until his daughter burst out with laughter, as he hugged her and told her how much he loves her and loves Hashem for giving him this beautiful girl for a daughter.

When he concluded the singing and desert was served I asked him to explain where the song comes from and why is he singing it tonight. He smiled at me and said, “This is my own tune to a line expressed in the Gemara. I began singing this with my daughter just a few weeks ago. You see Hashem blessed us with a son, and from a few days after our son’s bris, to over a year, we spent every day in the hospital hoping that he would get better and we’d go home with our healthy son. Then Hashem asked for his jewel to come home, and the day after the funeral we discovered that our daughter has kidney failure and that we have to travel to America for a Kidney transplant. He said to me with a smile, Reb Chaim, the next day after the funeral, can you imagine?”

He looked at me and said, “Every day that my son was in the hospital I wrote words of Emunah from various seforim. Each day my wife and I cried and prayed for his recovery. It is now, with our daughter’s kidney failure diagnosis, which we realize that Hashem knows what He is doing. Instead of crying that our daughter is not well, we celebrate that Hashem will make her ailments go away, and that He will heal her be’ezras Hashem. I asked him if I may offer a song to him and began singing my grandfather’s (Skulener Rebbe Z’tzl) niggun ’Ohr chodosh al tzion tuir…’ ‘A new light is shining on tzion’ I had realized that he was going into that brighter light reserved for the righteous.

By day we see the kindness that Hashem offers and at night we need faith to see. If one can stay in the light then he may always see the kindness. However, when one chooses to step into the darkness, then without faith he will fall.

This past week I compared my situation to being able to choose between light and darkness. Light is easier. When I first got engaged I was the happiest man alive. I blessed everyone with the blessings of what I was feeling. Until the day came when the wedding was called off and I had to choose. I was forced to choose between light and darkness. I concluded that someone may have dimmed the lights, but did not shut it hatov

Since Hashem gifted me with a peek into the greatest light of happiness, why should I not believe that a greater light awaits me? Why must I dip into the chocolate of darkness, which was created from the light, why not just realize that although the lights have may look dimmed, they are not off.

It is at times like these where I appreciate the man and his daughter for showing me that light follows light. You go from degree of brightness to another, and as long as you stay in the light you can witness the kindness that Hashem has at mankind. For only those who cannot see or feel the kindness of Hashem fall into the darkness. I choose to stay in the light, and ask Hashem to help me through this period of testing and move me closer to the light that He once showed me as a sample.

I announced in Shul last night – “Please do not say ‘boruch dayan huemes’ to me. Nobody died, and boruch Hashem life goes on. Don’t pout – just smile within your own light and offer me a blessing ‘boruch hatov ve’hamaiteev’ ‘Blessed is the one who gives us all our best!’ People ask me what they can do for me. I tell them to pray to Hashem that we both find the right one, in order to bask in His great and wondrous light.

Asking me what happened, doesn’t make the light brighter. Knowing that so many people care about one another shows me that I was right to stay in the light, for even when it dims, supporters hold up their own light and offer hope for brighter days to come.

I offer a heartfelt thanks to my family, friends and support team. Thank you for your light and blessings. I look forward to sharing my light with you too in the right time, the right place, at the right moment, when the brightest lights shall shine for the whole world to share.

P.S. It is now years later and that little girl with her bright smile still shines in her bright light as she sings with her father the Shabbos tune every Friday night. “Everything that Hashem does is for the best!”

Editors Note: This article was written a year before I got married to my wife Devorah. Bli Ayin Hora, Devorah Exemplifies the true light that Hashem had in store for me and for klal Yisroel. We need to be able to see that Hashem has not and will not forget our pains and sorrow. He will dim the lights from time to time but in reality, the light will always shine.