Letting Go

“Letting Go”

At times we believe that the stronger we hold on, the greater we experience life. The truth is that this is furthest from reality. There is a place within our daily lives where we are asked to just ‘let go’, and to allow another to take over. It’s mainly a private moment so it’s difficult to track how much we really let go. However, today we shall examine the rules and virtues of letting go, and its just rewards.

This place that I refer to as a private letting go — is during our tefillos, our prayers. We pray that Hashem cure us, help us, redeem us, and so on. We therefore, let go our control and allow for a stronger power to present us with gifts that we cannot give our selves. When we begin the shemona esrai, it begins our letting go. “Hashem, open my lips so that my mouth may speak your greatness.” Rabbi Mottel Twerski (Denver, CO – currently in Brooklyn, NY) suggests; that this is the place where we say to Hashem “I’m powerless and you are so powerful, I release myself to you and ask you to help me in saying praise to you, help me express my feelings for I am powerless next to you and you are most powerful.” If we do not release our tight grip on control then we cannot allow even Hashem to present us with anything. We become so tight that we can’t even see. Letting go, allows us to trust, hope, and pursue the sense of flowing through life in the hands of a greater being.

Letting go is not an easy task. Although life would be a much more pleasant road if everything just moved along without worry, and negative projections based on fear layered control. But do we really know people that are that clear, in allowing us to see ONLY the best in things and not worry or control situations?

I recall, years ago, going to my shadchen and giving her certain limits and controls over what kind of person I want to meet. What if I didn’t give her those controls, would I meet the right one regardless? I opened my mouth and gave my opinion and the other person angrily walked out, was he able to let go, and just realize that another opinion is not the end of the world? What if I was truly wrong — factually incorrect — does it require an angered response? Some say we are set in our ways, we can’t change, and we may not be open-minded. Is it that we are not able to let go, or, is it that certain times holding on to your strengths is as important as letting go.

For example believing in a process, having an opinion on something that hurts your feelings, being passionate about an issue, is this control, and needs a letting go process? What about being persistent, is that being stubborn and needs letting go or is it persistence and makes us stronger to who we are as people?

The answer is simple, the path is draining. Letting go to Hashem and allowing him to run the world is not an easy thing to do. That is why – as a Jewish nation we have laws against vengeance, murder, and the like. When you see someone doing something wrong in your eyes – the first step we must take is MEASUREMENT. Weigh the issue at hand and look ahead 10 years, thinking what I would do if I were thinking back on this situation. Measure the level of anger you have at this point. If you must attack – let go first. The second step is REASON. Reason with yourself, as in conversation – what am I doing, whom am I hurting with this? The third step is SIGHT! How can I see the good in all this that is happening?

Nobody says this is easy. The toughest challenge is to let go, and it is this challenge that we have upon ourselves every day, week, month and year. For one week, be passionate about your beliefs, be strong about your path in life, and at the same time be open to hear, see and observe the other side. Give reason a chance, but don’t drop the SELF which makes you a complete person. Letting go to Hashem is like trusting that when things go wrong that it will turn around, when you see a death in a situation that you don’t place blame. The most controlling line, “If only I could have done this and that!” Instead let us accept upon ourselves, that we will see the good in all things, in all people, in all that seems so dark, even if for only one week. We will confront ourselves and allow us to let go to Hashem and let Him run this world, His way.

Some days I am confronted with things that look so grim, so helpless, so full of pain, and I try to Measure, Reason and Search for the goodness in all. At times I am blinded by my own walls. For one week though, I will – together with you, let go to Hashem, let go and be free of worry.