Shlomo Hamelech taught us in
Proverbs, "Grace is elusive and beauty is vain, but a
woman who fears the Hashem-she shall be praised."
Why is she so praised for her
fear of Hashem and modesty? Why not mention kindness as
well? It is because all virtual aspects stem from
humility and modesty. When someone is modest, they are
drawn to doing aspects of kindness.
There are two kinds of grace.
A grace which stems from pride, this is a false sense of
grace and then there is grace which comes from humility
and modesty. This real grace is the connection a woman
makes with the Shechinah.
Everyone can make themselves
appear to be modest on the exterior and it certainly is
a step in the proper direction as it will eventually
lead towards being truly modest but this is only the
first step. One must work to have a modest heart. With a
modest and humble heart comes purity and bracha,
So how can a woman work on her modesty.
1. Speak softly and pleasantly.
2. Think before you speak
3. Try to think of others first
4. Try not to draw attention to herself
5. Constantly think about Hashem
6. Wear clothing that covers modestly and not too
7. Say Iggeret HaRamban
8. Always carry a Tehillim, Psalms or something to
remind yourself the importance of serving Hashem.
9. Being Patient
10. Hisbodidus, meditation on attaining the aspects
of fear of Hashem, modesty.
11. Think about the Shechinah often and do things in
order to draw her presence near to you.