August 6, 2008

Reb ObaMoshe for President

Filed under: Puns & Jokes — Reb Moshe @ 6:03 am


I support offshore drilling!

We must get rid of gas guzzling cars!

Switch to Hybrids!


Change the way we think

VOTE REB ObaMOSHE FOR PRESEDENT!

1. Free Health Insurance
2. Requiring all non Jews to be Sons of Noach or face imprisonment
3. Pull out all troops from Iraq & send them to Lebanon & Syria & Iran
4. Move all of hollywood to the National Zoo
5. Destroy all copies of _______ (got to get elected first)
6. Install Basketball court inside oval office
7. Synagoge in the White House
8. Free Palard
9. Ban all guns in USA
10. There is a lot of work to be done!

30 Comments

  1. Burning the Qur’an, huh? Oy vey! Sounds like Reb Moshe wants to play hardball!

    Also you may want to consider sending troops to Pakistan as well. Now that’s a messed up country.

    Comment by Zechariah — August 6, 2008 @ 9:10 am

  2. U have my vote!!!

    Comment by Teodor Todorov — August 6, 2008 @ 9:53 am

  3. I have a problem with #3. Why attack Lebanon, Syria and Iran?

    And #5. The Koran is good for the Goyim. Rambam says Islam is the purest monotheisitic religion that a goy can have.

    #9 From my cold dead hands!

    Comment by Asa Yitzchak — August 6, 2008 @ 4:07 pm

  4. Well your out then. I AM STILL LOOKING FOR A VICE PRESEDENT! ANY CANDADATES? WHY SHOULD I CHOOSE YOU?

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 6, 2008 @ 5:05 pm

  5. When I was a child, I, too, had presidential aspirations! Once I met G-d, I grew up and only wish to manifest my FULLY-DEVELOPED messianic spark (my maximum messianic potential!) I’m satisfied to leave politics to those who think no higher!

    Comment by Paul Chipkin — August 6, 2008 @ 5:22 pm

  6. You look so different without your beard and long hair! But in a good way!

    Comment by jodi — August 6, 2008 @ 6:13 pm

  7. @ Asa: Back then in the time of Maimonides o.b.m. there was no Noahide-movement. The islam is an idolatrous sect, which denies the eternal character of the 613 Mitzvot and besides many other transgressions requires from its followers to bend themselves in front of an obelisk (the kabba) which would be absolutely forbidden for Bney Noah too (liable to capital punishment). For more details, see:
    http://www.moshiach.com/action/morality/idolatry.php
    So #5 is a very good point.
    Sh’lom! 🙂

    Comment by Teodor Todorov — August 6, 2008 @ 6:31 pm

  8. I would make an excellent VP due to my gender and being jewish. it is time for a woman prez or vp!!!!! women power!!!!!! lol…can’t wait for comments on this. :^)

    Comment by Kara — August 7, 2008 @ 1:46 am

  9. I will consider you Kara but what are you views? Are you going to try to knock me off in my sleep so you can become Presedent?

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 1:52 am

  10. i have lots of views. one is free sheitels to all ortho women. make the prez’s cabinet all women. make the prez use a pygmy camel instead of the limo.

    Comment by Kara — August 7, 2008 @ 2:12 am

  11. What is your view on gun control Kara

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 2:21 am

  12. a big iron on my hip. what a schtick!! look out men here i come. hmmm…….

    Comment by Kara — August 7, 2008 @ 2:24 am

  13. I think you are saying you support gun control just for men. I think this is a great idea, it will balance out society better. Women with guns! They will lower the population quickly so we will need less oil so we can just servive off of the petrolium emergency supply.

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 2:30 am

  14. i believe men should be kept in line. they should know thier palces in the home. be very demure.

    Comment by Kara — August 7, 2008 @ 2:30 am

  15. a form of population control is giving women guns.

    Comment by Kara — August 7, 2008 @ 2:31 am

  16. Islam has recognized the oneness of Hashem nearly as much as Judaism has. I can only think of 1 case in Islam that contradicts G-d’s oneness: that Hashem can “change his mind”, per se (i.e. Allah giving a “rewritten testament” to Muhammad).

    And about the Kaaba; I think your thinking of this in the wrong context. the Moslems are not actually worshipping the kaaba. As a matter of fact, the kaaba was built in order to symbolize G-d’s oneness. It’s like if a Yid goes to Daven at the Kotel; he is in no way worshiping the wall, he is worshiping Hashem.

    Frankly, considering all that my people have been through, I don’t think I would have the heart to destroy someone else’s means of worship.

    Comment by Zechariah — August 7, 2008 @ 3:56 am

  17. I remove 5 simply cause it is the only way to win my campain. I will reinstate it after I win! lol

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 3:28 pm

  18. I have decided to raise someone from the dead to be VP

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 3:46 pm

  19. My list of candadates

    George Burns
    Elvis
    Douglas MacArthur
    Alexander the Great
    Jesse James

    Someone will have to explain to our younger viewers who these people are & why i have chosen them.

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 4:03 pm

  20. Sh’lom!
    @ Zechariah:
    muhammad says that G-d’s Torah and the 613 Mitzvoth are not any more in charge, and therefore offers new laws to be followed. The Torah is one and eternal, so are the Mitzvoth, therefore muhammad is a false prophet and liable to death punishment. the religion, grounded by him, is therefore an idolatrous cult. Further he accuses the jews to have rewritten and falsified G-d’s words and therefore he does not respect the Rabbinical institutions and the sages of blessed memory, the Written and especially The Oral Torah.
    Further, he calls Jeshua from Nazareth “the Moshiach” which also contradicts the words of the sages of blessed memory.
    On kabba:
    Here extent from the book “The Path of the Righteous Genile” quoting Rambam’s Mishneh Torah, Laws of Idolatry, chapter 6. law 6:
    “PART FOUR: The idolatrous pillar; benefiting or profiting from idols

    1. A pillar that serves as a central point of worship for gatherings of people is called a matzeva, a forbidden pillar. It is forbidden even if the people come to it in order to worship God, for this was the way of the ancient idolaters. (The Kaaba stone in Mecca is just such a forbidden pillar. And the concept of the forbidden pillar is still with us today in full fashion. The book and film, 2001: A Space Odyssey were written in praise of the powers of the idolatrous pillar.) Anyone who erects such a pillar performs a forbidden act, but is not killed for it.”

    On #5 in Reb ObaMosche’s election program:
    “7. Many books have been written by idol worshipers con­cerning the nature of their idolatry, the service, procedures, and laws. One should not read these books at all, nor should one think about them nor speak of them. Even studying the formation of an idolatrous figure or asking how something is served without having the intention of serving it might cause one to be led to engage in idolatrous practices.”, the same book, quoting Rambam’s Mishneh Torah, Laws of Idolatry, chapter 2, law 2
    Therefore, I suggest, we return #5 in the programm. 🙂
    By destroying the means of worship of idolatrous cults, you are doing these people a great spiritual favor. I myself have been raised in a christian country and know very good what damages such a literature can cause even to G-d- fearing people with good intentions. So- why take the risk? 🙂
    Sh’lom!

    Comment by Teodor Todorov — August 7, 2008 @ 5:14 pm

  21. Teodor campain manager. You are right, we will put it back after my candacy. We are only trying to help. Right now, I think Jesse James would be the best person as VP to compliment me.

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 7, 2008 @ 6:50 pm

  22. i think we should nominate kublai khan as your vp.

    Comment by kara — August 8, 2008 @ 1:11 am

  23. 30 DAYS AFTER I AM APPOINTED, ALL RICH PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO TRADE HOMES AND JOBS WITH SOMEONE POOR or face santions! They will also have to work at fast food resteraunts or at a shoe store. After 6months, all their wealth must be returned to them except the profits made by the poor man. This he may keep. This will be my economic reform polacy!

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 8, 2008 @ 2:21 am

  24. I KNEW THIS KARA, THANKS FOR THE SUJECTION! WAS HE YOUR YOGA TEACHER?
    The grandson of marauding conqueror Genghis Khan, Kublai Khan is famous as the founder of the Yuan or Mongol Dynasty of China. Kublai Khan centralized taxes and administration, improved agriculture, and established a famously splendid court at Cambaluc (now Beijing).

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 8, 2008 @ 2:22 am

  25. @ teodor

    Islam is a religion that runs inline with the 7 laws of Noach!

    Comment by Asa Yitzchak — August 8, 2008 @ 2:59 am

  26. @ Asa – how could it be running inline with the 7 laws since it denies the truth of The Oral Torah and the 7 Noahide Mitzvoth are known only from the Orsl Torah? And this example with the kaaba? Stimulating the erecting of a forbidden pillar is a direct violation of the Noahide laws (this particular included in the 1 law- prohibition of idolatry).
    Sh’lom

    Comment by Teodor Todorov — August 8, 2008 @ 11:54 am

  27. Reb ObaMoshe, what will you do about the polition problems?

    Comment by jason — August 8, 2008 @ 12:06 pm

  28. Will use a masive Windmil from Tzfat to provide clean and holy air for the world.

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 8, 2008 @ 12:10 pm

  29. Reb Moshe? What will you do about Zionism?

    Comment by Asa Yitzchak — August 8, 2008 @ 5:03 pm

  30. Diplomacy. Both sides need to talk more..
    I am banning all cell phones because of cancer and radiation. We must get better technology going quickly to make cell phones safe.

    Comment by Reb Moshe — August 8, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

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