I have someone leaving to Israel on Tuesday who will graciously bring me a computer. So now I am searching ebay and praying for that miracle donation that will land us a new computer to edit videos fast and with no troubles. If I believe with all my heart that Hashem will answer, I think He will!
January 30, 2009
I have a lot to say on current events and quite an opinion. It is difficult to decide if this is the place for such discussions. Ive been told that people like my site and blog because I don’t voice political opinion but keep things pure. At the same time though, it is on peoples mind and everything has to do with the torah. My opinion could be important since the blog is quite popular but political and current events is also a place to get lost in and forget Hashem. Too much serious talk here about the site and Torah does get a bit boring for some which is why I like to come out with a mix from time to time.
Please view the newest video taken at the Ari at Midnight. Torah Video
January 29, 2009
I personally do not label myself since my teaching position is better left open so I don’t push people to be, “What I consider the only way”.
Many people from outside the USA are now finding themselves drawn to Breslov. I wanted to make it clear without going into details but the Na Nach movement of Breslov is not something I follow or the main stream Rabbis. You can contact me personally if you need to discuss details. I do respect all Jews and there is a purpose for everything. I just want to be clear since I teach many breslov ideas and have drawn thousands to Breslov, my intention is that a person follows the main stream should they be drawn to breslov. The Rambam in Hilchos Daos encourages this with all things in life and whatever movement you choose or decision in life, you should always find yourself towards the middle and not unhealthy extremes.
I have hit a video furry, save me! I just came back from doing another. If we can’t raise the money for a new computer, I need some technically advanced human to explain to me why all usb things I plug in are unrecognized. Is this a falty motherboard? I have tried device manager fixes with no luck. Also my sound is skipping. I have run 2 antivirus and spyware.
Okay, I am going to go out on the limb here. Anyone who donates the computer will get all the money back! This is a promise from the Talmud. One will never loose from giving charity! Cause I am editing on a laptop (since the PC usb problems) with 40 gig hard drive and I have no roommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm to work! I can’t edit off the external cause it takes 8 hours to save and chances of errors are too high.
I have been observing more of a chatzos, learning at night lifestyle for over 10 years. It has great spiritual benefits but I must admit, it isn’t easy. Observing Chatzos properly means that you go to sleep early evening for a short nap and then arise and stay up the remainder of the night. This means you have to borrow sleep from the day which the Talmud allows for this purpose only. In practical life in Israel, most things are open during the morning and close by early afternoon. Some things reopen after 4pm but only for a couple of hours. If someone wanted to go to the dentist or make a stop in some type of Government establishment to handle regular living, these places are only open one time a week in the afternoons which I usually miss. Car mechanics close early afternoon and all repairmen come just in the mornings so I end up pushing them off. This means that to take care of material things, you have to often completely change up your schedule. It is also very difficult to have this lifestyle unless you are self-employed. To go around these problems, many people go to bed extremely early at night and wake up at 4am. But in truth, this doesn’t leave much time for Chatzos learning as it is light by 5am. Another way to go around this would be to remain wake a bit later into the night and retire around 2am. But this interferes many times with morning davening. The holiest time is the first 2 hours of midnight, so in a way, it is a good observance to just stay up. For most people, the most practical chatzos habit is to go right to sleep and just wake up very early. Then you could still go to work and do what you need. But like King David, he wouldn’t miss even a moment from Midnight till morning. Not to mention, the real tikkun is really to remain completely awake and intertwine night and morning by prayer at sunrise. Now observing Chatzos means less time with family and it wasn’t easy to explain to my 5 year old why it seems like I sleep all night and day since he assumes I am just sleeping as everyone he knows does. If you want to learn about chatzos, Sefer Kavanos Halev Chatzos will teach you of the benefits spiritually but I think I am the first to write about what it is really like practically here. I certainly think it is much easier to practice this in a quiet place like Tzfat but it was easier for me in America because everything is open till late afternoon and stores till 10pm. In Tzfat and Meron you always see a person here and there awake at night to study in Kollel. I’m constantly picking people up off the streets who are hitching in the middle of the night and I have decided to stop this practice for safety. The roads are empty so I am able to get to Meron with my heavy foot in 8minutes. It is quite nice to “own the night” so to speak. Surprisingly, even Meron has less then a minyon of people around on most late nights. About 5 people might leager to the mikvah and Ari kever but most of the time it is empty. There are some kollel’s, yeshivos that have about 5-8 people studying at night for pay. I found this impossible because my children have been quite ill over the years and waking up all night is their specialty. I can’t say I am holy enough to learn all night because I am busy with kiruv and the website videos half the night. Really my friends, we are talking countless hours of behind the scenes work. Doing web design work, soferous and paying bills also has to fit in somewhere but my work is inconsistent (owch) . But on those nights that I can, I try to do some special learning and avodas Hashem. I feel invigorated by a midnight mikvah. I don’t like praying anything but Naitz. To me it just isn’t the same to do otherwise. For me, I can’t change this avodah once I have done it for so long. To me, the nights are day and the connection to Hashem at this time is a must. Even on those down days, to shut my eyes while so much holiness is taking place in the Heavens during this time, just isn’t possible. Maybe it is the added air of Tzfat that keeps me awake. One thing is for sure, you loose about 1/3 of your friends because you almost never see them (not to mention my wife, lol). My dream goal in all honesty is to learn all night and then do the kiruv work during the afternoon but I have too much on my plate trying to make a living and do it all. Lately though, I am finding myself pulled towards this holiness even more and am finding myself in Meron most nights. I’m not sure this will last long though. Something holy doesn’t come without a fight from the other side. My other goal is to wear tefillin all afternoon (which would be all day while awake for me). Every time I have attempted this, at least for me the practice itself is quite easy (As a sofer I many times write with Tefillin on), but I have found everything falling apart around me and therefore I have had to stop it. This shows the holiness of this practice. In Tzfat, when people stop seeing you during the day time, they already know what your up too. It is not unusual for people here to take upon themselves this switch but usually most don’t last long due to its lonely lifestyle. This is why the Kollel’s don’t pay Chatzos learners the first month. In my life, I have never taken a Kollel check even when I was there full time. I never wanted my Torah study to be something I was paid for. There is nothing wrong with being paid to learn though, as the Rabbis have approved this for practical reasons. At this time, if I could find a place to pay me well enough for night time study, I would hop on board if the kids would start sleeping better. In Israel most Kollel Yeshivos pay about $400 for full day learning. My childrens education cost more then this alone. Education cost has gone up lately as well as to live in Israel. The American problem has hit us in various ways (thanks guys). So I have just opened up a bit to all of you and now you see why all my last videos are all in the night. I can’t wait for the summer when it gets darker later. If I am going to teach at night, I can’t exactly talk about material things or practical learning. The videos will start getting more spooky here, just you wait.
January 28, 2009
As explained in the “Prayer with Kavanah” video, here is the list of Psalms for Miracles that I gathered. I used to say them and saw great things happen. These specific Psalms talk to the Neshamah in very special ways. You cannot recite them without being uplifted. I recommend saying as many as possible at one time or throughout the day. I explained this on the video.
INFO ADDED LATER
I came up with these series because I didn’t feel moved but tired when I recited the entire book. During this time period my father only had hours to live, this story repeated itself for over 3 years as he was bedridden in dozens of hospitals. Everytime he only had hours to live, I recited these specific psalms and he recovered. I didn’t know about Rebbe Nachman’s 10 Psalms at the time or I am sure I would have recited them as well. Over the years, whenever I wanted to be moved by Tehillim, I concentraited on fliping through these even if I didn’t have time to recite but a few. I was always moved each time spritiually and I felt better.
Please enjoy another video, www.torahvideo.com
The way I am teaching Zohar is very grounded and selective so have no fear. I might turn this into a series. I have uploaded 4 videos this month and only got a handful of feedback. I would also appreciate if folks would comment on the videos wherever they see them. If not, all I see is numbers and stats so I feel like I am teaching into the wind. Even though I have payis and a long coat, I am still human. Well, half human!
Today I went to the Ari 5minutes before Skkia. As we know, the Zohar teaches that you should not be in a cemetery at night. This starts at Skiya so I was running past people for deal life as I understand what can happen. Meanwhile, they are walking slowly out not realizing the danger. This is why it is important to teach Zohar with Tzimtzum. People should know of these dangers but should they learn them fully from the Zohar themselves, the fear itself would draw klipah and impurities to them. Learned correctly, the Zohar can be a great inspiration to people in service of Hashem. It is one of the most inspirational sefarim ever written. Years ago I highlighted over 100 areas in the Zohar that I wanted to remember. If I were to teach these areas over to the world, people would find inspiration like they have never had before. It was 4am in Meron when I took this video so it isn’t my best work but it is an opening to a new world. We will have to see if it Hashem’s will to continue such a series. Unfortunately, we are not getting much support from viewers due to the economy so each video is a great undertaking for me. This is why, even though I don’t seek praise, too hear that you viewed the videos, keeps me going. Love me or hate me, don’t just be a stat to me, lol.
Now live at Torah Video.com
I have also sent it out to all Bnei Noach members of our site, Noach Space.com
No my friends, just because all the new videos are taken at night doesn’t mean I am a werewolf.
January 27, 2009
I have updated the donation page to include gifts for those who donate. I Love Torah Donations I have also updated the supporters list.
The Jewish people were not so comfortable even after the miracles in the desert. This doesn’t make much sense since they saw great wonders and you would think that this would have brought them to comfort in the light of Hashem. It wasn’t until Hashem said to them, Take for me a Heave Offering that I may dwell in your midst. Immediately at this point, their confidence was kindled and their rejoiced. This is because the Shechinah, Devine Presence, came down to earth. This is all explained in Zohar Parshas Terumah. Now what we see from this is that the only way our souls feel relaxed is when the Shechinah is with us. How can the Shechinah dwell and remain with a person who is bittle Torah? Someone who allows themselves to hear one curse word, see one impure moment of immodest goysha things? Certainly the Shechinah has been sent down to remain with us in this exile but if we push Her away, who are we to then complain thereafter? She is right there for us. We just have to keep her close and not chase her away.
January 26, 2009
I wish everyone a happy Rosh Chodesh. Tonight I spent Chatzos, midnight in Meron and I did two videos. One about prayer and the other I taught from the Zohar. I also prayed there tehillim. On my return drive, I cried over and over that Hashem help me to have the financial assistance that I can edit these videos and continue to teach and learn Torah.
January 25, 2009
In the past, following a long time period of quiet with the website, usually I make a big return with lots of new material. With all the economic problems, we are not even covering server costs this month. It is a bit difficult to think about doing videos and writing Torah when this is the case. In the past, I simply dug into my own pocket and today I pay the price for this with ilovetorah debt. For now, I feel bad to step away from the site but I have no idea how to continue it like it needs. Personally, I have concluded that I must increase my prayer so I have begun more daily tehillim recital. It seems sad that we finally got a camera donated but the usb on the computer is broke among other things. We simply can’t bring forth Torah with broken tools and the weight of little support. I don’t blame anyone, everyone is pressured today in their own way. I’ve increased my prayers for American Jews and their suffering.