October 31, 2006

Todays update

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 4:50 pm

To describe my day to you all. Children woke up at 5am and go to school at 8am. From 8am to 4pm, I have been on the phone non stop with alternative doctors, adviser’s, Rebbe’s, Rav’s, relatives, my wife.

The baby is on a feeding tube today as he won’t take his bottle, taking a lot of morphine today for pain. He is very jumpy & scared. We need his condition to improve more so we can consider alternative methods.

If anyone can help with donations for the site (paypal link on front page), so I wouldn’t have to out of pocket the maintenance this month, it would help. The new site is launching at almost any moment and I owe money to the designer. Since the accedent alone, I have answered more then 100 kiruv messages. We have more then a thousand people a day learning Torah here and not for a moment, no matter what, do I forget them.

October 30, 2006

The Shechinah Rests at the Bedside of a sick person

Filed under: Blog Torah — Reb Moshe @ 10:34 pm

Here is a divar Torah in honor of Gedalya Aharon Zvi ben Rochel feiga that he should heal quickly.

A righteous person subconsciously and un-subconsciously tries to place himself in environments which are known to be holy. This enables him to attach himself to devekus to Hashem without struggle. Then when he leave this place of inherent kedusha, holiness, his soul naturally tires to continue the attachment.

This being said, it is important for a person to put themselves in a holy place at least one hour a day. It could even be a place that a person designates as holy and this itself draws kedusha there. One could go as for as setting aside a room, chair, jacket or any item of clothing for this purpose. It is important to only use this item for alone.

As I sit here with my baby whose body is 30% burned, I began to search for something strong to hold onto. I was reminded of the words of chazel, “The Shechinah rests at the beside of a sick person.” Having already established this connection in previous days in the Bais Medresh & by holy Tzaddikim, it wasn’t difficult to latch onto this holiness in what would otherwise be an empty place devoid of anything.

If you ponder the thought for a while, scanning the posukim within Tanach, you will see reference to Hashem and the Shechinah in almost all places. The Talmud teaches us that “In all your ways, know Him.” It says that the very heavens are a reflection of the Shechinah and the Thrown of Glory. From the elements He Created man. So we see from mentioning only a couple of posukim that Hashem can be found in all things.

Why is the Shechinah come to some places more then others? It could be that someone performed a great mitzvah at such a place that forever more an extra spirit of holiness would rest upon it or the very opposite could happen. Someone had sinned and the Shechinah being like a mother went down to that place to sustain this person however she could so they would not fall even further into sin. In the later case, the holiness becomes trapped and only through finding the light of Hashem is this mundane place and circumstance, can one unleash this light that has been stuck.

When a person keeps a horse on its rains and then suddenly releases it, the animal immediately darts out quickly. The same is true of this light. Having been stuck so long, as soon as it is released, its light has tremendous force. So much so that if you ride it freely, it could bring you to levels of holiness and revelations, you are otherwise not prepared for.

Do not underestimate the ways of Tzaddikim. They thrive off of these trapped rays of lights. Finding them, releasing them and elevating themselves to the next level inside them. Mundane matters to them are not really mundane at all but rather a Yichud, an opportunity to unite the worlds above with these missing pieces.

Why do the righteous have to suffer? Avraham, the biggest man of chesed, kindness to others latched himself to these trapped lights and therefore he also paid a price. His wife was barren a long time and he became ill (after the bris milah) by bringing up these lights after they had been sitting in darkness as for so long, it was impossible for a little bit of darkness to also not be released. It is silenced through suffering.

What is darkness? An absence of daats, understanding in something. Through suffering, a person attains a new level of daats. Why? Because he finds Hashem through the trial. How? The Shechinah is at the bedside of the sick person. Who is a sick person? Someone who is taken from their normal schedule and thrown into confusion. It is he who is truly sick and whom the Shechinah rests upon.

Now, how many of us are off schedule in some way or another? Is the Shechinah not with us in these situations, carrying for us, teaching us and showing us the way out of the dark?

How then can there be a price to pay for separating good from bad and releasing this trapped light? My friends, we live in a state of illusion. The average person lives in this world 70years but the World to Come is endless. Our poskim teach us the laws of bittle Sheshim. How if 1/60th of something fell into a pot, that thing is considered nothing due to the small place it takes up. How in the world an we consider ourselves having suffered here if we have a true belief in the Next World.

Our Babies Burns update

Filed under: Mishaps/tests/U name it — Reb Moshe @ 3:32 pm

Our 1.5 year old son, Please spread his name to yeshivos and synagoges to pray

Gedalya Aharon Zvi ben Rochel Feiga 

2nd degree deep/ borderline 3rd

30% of body, including some of his face, neck, stomach, arm, finger, back and throat.

For all those who are advising alternative treatments. I have slowly been looking into this but the case is simply to critical to use these methods. Plus, nobody who uses these methods has yet volunteered to come up to Haifa to check him.

He has fever but no infection at this time. He has feeding tube in nose for food since mouth is a bit burnt. This is a very serious time as the doctor has stated that since is so deep it can easily become, chas v shalom, 3rd degree very quickly.

My friends, I believe in prayer, so much so… So, please spread our child’s name. For now, I drive back and forth to Haifa daily, my wife is there full time. I spent the night holding the babies hand, haven’t slept in a day and just ate yesterdays dinner & today’s breakfast at 2pm the next day.

Our spirits are positive, our hearts are broken and our thoughts are totally with Hashem. Now I must post the divar Torah I wrote for all my friends while holding the little babies hand.

 

October 29, 2006

New Layouts & upgrades

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 8:12 am

The first upgrade to ilovetorah is almost finished and ready to show you. I still need to pay my designer & need donations.

The second upgrade to torahvideo is awaiting funds. The same with the upgrade to frumdate.

Donate to paypal at moshes@iname.com

Email me: moshe@ilovetorah.com  if you can help

 

October 27, 2006

PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR BABY

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 5:14 pm

OUR BABY IS ON RESPORATOR, HE REACHED UP AND DUMPED OVER A POT OF HOT SOUP ON HIMSELF. HE HAS 2NRD DEGREE BURNS. HE IS 1 YEAR AND A HALF. CURRENTLY IN RAMBAM HOSPITAL AS OF FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

HIS NAME TO PRAY

GELALYA (sorry, I made a typo before shabbos, first name is GEDALYA AHARON ZVI BEN ROCHEL FEIGA

HIS ENTIRE BACK AND STOMACH AND NECH ARE BURNT. HE IS ON MORFENE FOR PAIN AND MANY THINGS. PLEASE PRAY, EVERY PRAY COUNTS

UPDATE: AFTER SHABBOS 

HE IS MORE STABLE. STILL IN ICU OVERNIGHT BUT THEY THINK THEY WILL MOVE HIM OUT TOMARROW. 30% of his body is 2nd degree, his hand is being watched carefully as it is a bit worse. He is breathing on his own now.

 

 

October 26, 2006

The Biala Rebbe’s Gabi for a Day

Filed under: deep reflections — Reb Moshe @ 4:27 am

Well yesterday I drove to Bnei Brak to be the Biala Rebbe of New York’s Gabi, assistant for the evening. It was his nieces wedding and I was to care for the Rebbe or as we would put it in layman’s terms, I was his bodyguard. Well standing only at 5-6 and 150 pounds, you might wonder what Reb Moshe could really do to defend the Rebbe from Chassidim.

In the Chassidic world, outside the large dynasties which have thousands upon thousands of followers, a gabi to a Rebbe means to drive him, take appointments, make sure the Rebbe is not being taken advantage of, help him to use his time for study, and so on… Without a good gabi, the Rebbe is not able to use every moment for Torah and Hashem. Constantly the Rebbe is trying to attach himself to higher worlds and deep study but frivolous matters of this world try to distract him. It was my job this one night to make sure the Rebbe could be all that he can be.

So here is how the night began… I walked with the Rebbe into the wedding hall and then chassidim began to run over for his blessing. As a good gabi, I immediately excused myself to take care of personal business, if you know what I mean. When I returned, the other gabi asked me if I understood that I am there to always be next to the Rebbe… I said I did understand that. Okay, not off to a good start… I had left the Rebbe to be trampled upon. Well, that wasn’t actually the case as the Biala Dynasty is only a few hundred. If I was gabi for the Current Gerer Rebbe, well, you don’t want to know what would have happened during my little break. Lots of people running to get a blessing from a short cute 70 year old Rabbi. Ah…

I accompanied the Rebbe to his seat at the head table and I stood behind him. People came from left and right over his shoulder to receive his blessing but within reason. Some were bold and began a long conversation with the Rabbi. Having just come from Ben Gurion airport, I should have used a old kung fu technique on the imposture so the Rebbe could have a moment to breath. Instead, a few minutes later, the Rebbe tried to explain to me the importance of his piece of mind. Only with piece of mind will I be able to see the holy Avos, our forefathers whom the Zohar says, “gather under the chupah at every wedding of a Jewish couple”. Immediately upon hearing this, I used the full nelson technique of twisting the imposture’s leg so he would no longer bother the Rebbe. Okay, maybe not. I began to speak to the Rebbe and slowly distract the person from talking to him. The Rebbe taught me this zohar and then someone announced the time to pray was near.

The Rebbe stood up and turned around to pray. I moved the chair behind him so he would be able to sit during the appropriate times. Finally, a good move from the Rebbes bodyguard. I had finally gotten the idea!

After prayers, we walked upstairs to the chupah. When someone started bothering the Rebbe, I tried to interrupt them. After-all, he had explained to me the importance of this moment of chupah. I had reminded him, though unneccesarily, that this is the greatest tikkun, rectification the world. That of Malchus and Keter as taught in the Kabbalah. The woman representing Malchus and the Man Keter.

The Rebbe invited me to go up with him under the chupah when he would be called up for a blessing. He told me that… (maybe another time, hehe) I accompanied him up to the chapah. It was like being the usher at Radio City Music Hall. I was able to be close to all the other Rebbes and stars of the night.

I couldn’t help myself, I felt the tension of how difficult it is to be a known Rebbe. I decided that I must crack some jokes to the Rebbe to keep his spirits up when at every moment he is being watched and observed by his chassidim.

The night had still only begun. I followed the Rebbe to the master table to eat. The big sharks of Biala and other Chassidic Rebbes began to show up to pay their respects. I was right there only inches from a half of dozen Rebbes. Behind each one stood their gabi, shoulders upright and ready to serve. Throughout the evening, on and off, the Rebbe and I were discussing things like my website, family and we had a deep conversation about the Friday night meal. It was my fault, I had poured him a glass of selzer stopping 3x as is the custom for pooring wine on Shabbos into the Kiddush cup. Then we both smiled as you only do that for Kiddush, not for seltzer! I knew this, I was joking and it then opened up the question I have had for awhile. Why three times on Shabbos! 

The pouring three times, is bringing down the Sefiros of Keter, chachmah, Binah…or  Chochman Binah Daat.. It is Bringing the lights of the mind and higher wisdom down to us. Okay Rebbe I remarked, that is pretty cute but what about the challah in the salt!

Numerical value of  

Lechem=Bread=78

Melach=Salt=78

YKVK=Holy name of Hashem (Yud=10,Hay=5,Vav=6,Hay=5) 26 x 3 =78

Because we dip the bread in salt 3x. Okay Rebbe, these Gematiras of the words is great but why, why, why!

He asked me, what is salt… Chesed or Gevurah, Kindness or Judgement?

I said, Gevurah, Judgement

What is Bread? Gevurah

We are dipping the bread in the salt 3x with Hashem’s name in order to soften judgement and draw more chesed!

ding ding ding… wow!

So here I am trying to allow the Rebbe time to breath from distractions and he just set a match under me with this amazing Torah. Okay Rebbe, I stated, “How about the Bread”! We both smiled knowing that he had already fed me plenty of meat. Speaking of meat, as a gabi, there isn’t much time sitting. Does anybody have any Tylonal I began thinking! My feet hurt; my back hurts! I’ve been standing for hours! This is what I asked the other gabi later in the evening. How do you do it. What kind of shoes do you wear for this job? This is hard work!

I will end this story as follows. When the evening first started, the Rebbe didn’t ask me to serve him at all. Only when he was in front of the Chassidim did he motion to me to open the car door and care for him. For him it was all acting a part in order to give the people strength so they would rely up him. In his own heart, he wanted no dignity or respect at all. This was very clear to me.

These Rebbes have to sit for hours at Weddings many times a week. They sit down and see people for hours a day. People show them little respect. So many people were climbing over his shoulder the entire night in order to speak with him. Most didn’t ask me, his gabi, permission first. The Rebbe asked me to stand directly behind his chair so people wouldn’t lean over him. He also asked me to help him have the space he needed. Well, he was asking the wrong guy. When I saw the pain on the peoples faces, I couldn’t bare to push them away. After-all, I’m the little Reb Moshe who sees these brokenhearted faces all day. This is why I am blogging at 3am. So my friends, if your looking for a gabi, I’m not your man, if your looking for a Rebbe, well, I can’t sit down for 20minutes, let alone three hours at a wedding. But if you want a friend, I can do that! I think I can handle it. Maybe they should call me the “Yedidya Rebbe”, The Friendship Rabbi.

 

October 23, 2006

Ask Reb Moshe, Questions & Answers

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 4:50 am

Please send all questions to be answered on the blog to moshe@ilovetorah.com with the subject entittled, “Questions & Answers”. Your question if selected will be posted and answered on my blog.

My Dreams!

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 3:55 am

1. Self-Publish all my books

2. Make a Outreach Yeshiva in Tzfat for 500 bochorim

3. ilovetorah Front Page on Jewish Press & strong advertising budget

4. Paint house and new floor tiles

5. Be in 2 places at once like the Baal Shem once did

6. More fluent in hebrew

7. Never see the likes of a computer (nobody should have to have a computer as a major part of their life) and do the videos and writing by hand, having someone bring everything totally over to the site.

8. Good working equipment, no hardware problems!

9. Friends I can call at 3am when I am saddened and they will drive over to my house in the middle of the night to distract me. Oh wait, I got email, msn and my family… I will be okay…

10. Total control over my inclinations= true freedom

If only I could and not be ex-communicated

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 3:46 am

1. Wear white more often

2. Carry my laptop everywhere

3. Switch chassidic dress code to lighter colors that reflect the sun

4.  Would open my own publishing house

5. Would buy the domains jewish.com and torah.com

6. Would start a Boys basketball team of Tzfat

7. Sing out in the street

8. Wear Tefillin all day, Talis Friday Night

9. Make a weekly Friday Night get together to sing till 2am

10. Heat the Ari Mikvah & have hot showers

11. Bring via Chains all my internet friends to live in Tzfat

12. Make my own special direct line to my Rebbe and Rav for questions

13. Go to a car tuning shop

14. Make the first American Speaking Chassidus… oh wait, Reb Chaim of Yerushalayim has already done that! No need…

Did I leave anything out? 

Reb Moshe’s Favorites

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 3:19 am

1. Favorite Bourbon – A.H Hirsh 16 year old Reserved

2. Favorite Beer- Jack Daniels (yes they used to make a beer, was put in wood cask, very special)

3. Favorite color- Blue

4. Favorite car- was my first car, volks. Scirocco, fav sports car, new 911 turbo in yellow (looks great with a strimel), Current auto- Rover 600turbo 0-60 in 7 seconds

5. Favorite wood- mahogany, sometimes cherry

6. Favorite foods- corn beef, chocolate

7. Favorite drug- Reb Moshe never done no drugs

8. Favorite music- Classical Bach prelude, moonlight sonata, Miami Boys Choir

9.  Favorite sefarim- Rebbe Nachman’s wisdom, Ayin Yaakov, one i can’t tell you the name cause…

10. Favorite areas- Tzfat, Jerushalayim, Tiberia, Naharia, upstate New York, Western Maryland, Shenandoah Mountains-Virginia, Yosemite

11. Favorite Current Rabbi’s- Nikolsburg Rebbe, Biala Rebbe of New York, Tush Rebbe, Rabbi Gissenger Lakewood, Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss, Rav Kenig, Rabbi Mann of Tzfat, Rav Malkiel Kotler of Lakewood, Rabbi Friedman, Hornestypler Rebbe

12. Favorite years & styles – I’m an 80’s boy

13. Favorite instrement – Viola, saprano sax, piano only played on a baldwin\

YOUR TURN! ASK ME A FAVORITE QUESTION AND I WILL TRY TO ANSWER

 

October 20, 2006

Reb Moshe on My Space

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 5:02 pm

I have a new profile on myspace to pass around the website to the world.

http://myspace.com/ilovetorah

Please add me and if you have time to get me friends on it, we can pass around the website to thousands. Anything besides myspace, youtube I should be on? 

 

 

October 19, 2006

Reb Moshe Comedy Hour & New Design

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 2:34 am

Well, next week you are in for a suprise with the new flash design!

3 new Reb Moshe Comedy Hour Videos are completed and will be launched next week with the new design!

October 16, 2006

Lishmah: As a Small Child

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 6:14 pm

THIS WAS WRITTEN TODAY IN THE IDRA 

Taken from my book, The Forgotten Torah

http://ilovetorah.com/ForgottenTorah.htm 

The forgotten Torah of Har Sinai 

By Moshe Steinerman 

 

Lishmah: Like a Small Child: 

 

Why does Hashem make a person inherently smart and others simple minded. We know from Kabbalah that everything depends upon a person’s tikkun, task they must complete in this world. Some people simply do not need a great IQ in order to complete themselves but I’d like to take this a step further while sitting here in the holy Idra. 

 

The entire goal of seeking wisdom is in order to come to lishmah, a level of totally doing for Hashem’s sake. Most that search for wisdom are doing so in order to gain prestige or money. They don’t realize that true wisdom is the understanding that there is Hashem in all places. Years and years of study are totally wasted on these unfruitful gains in false wisdoms. The person becomes wise but not lacks street smart. What I mean by street smart is the relation of the world to Hashem and rather then drawing them closer to this; their wisdom pushes them further from true reality of a world of G-Dliness. 

 

“Shlomo HaMelech explained that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of Hashem.” This fear can only be attained through lishmah. So let us define what lishmah is in relation to this chapter. Lishmah means that I am not learning Torah for me but for the sake of the Shechinah and the Holy One blessed be He. Which you should understand to mean that it doesn’t matter how much I attain from the learning itself but what I am giving to the world by my learning. 

 

The Gemarah teaches us that the entire world is sustained through the Torah learning of small children. This is because their learning is pure without ulterior motives but let us take it one step further. Since the entire goal of learning as stated above is to sustain the world, and the children’s learning does this, we then can understand from this that we too must learn Torah like a small child. 

 

When we begin to learn Torah just for the sake of the mitzvah itself, our learning bares fruit. We are then able to see the relation of this world to Hashem’s G-Dliness. Hashem’s light becomes apparent in all things. If you asked a children, why are you learning Torah, most would respond with a simple answer, “For Hashem”. It is quite straightforward to them. This is because of their purity as being free from sin. We too must work to purify ourselves and reach this level of learning of simply, “For Hashem”. 

 

As a child we understood the world through simple, pure eyes. Now as adults, we have forgotten this. With Hashem’s help, we will remember this always. 

 

 

New Chapter, Attaining Torah through weeping!

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 1:28 am

Taken from my book, The Forgotten Torah

http://ilovetorah.com/ForgottenTorah.htm

 

The forgotten Torah of Har Sinai

By Moshe Steinerman

It wasn’t always brilliance that set a person on a pedestal with their Torah knowledge. What others accomplished through their genius in learning, others had to achieve this through weeping and prayers. ”Rabbi Avraham HaLevi [Berukhim] told me that my master once gave him advice regarding enlightenment. He was told to avoid idle conversation, to rise at midnight, and to weep regarding his lack of knowledge.

 

Why Rabbi Avraham HaLevi suggested that we don’t speak in idle conversation is because the mouth is connected to the Shechinah, Adna. Through our connection to the Shechinah, we are able to have access to the higher worlds but without a basic connection to Her, there is no entrance anywhere. (See my Sefer, Tikkun Shechinah)

 

“Rochel cries for her children”. She is the aspect of the Shechinah. Just as the Shechinah weeps over the exile of Israel, so too Rochel, our holy mother, felt the pains of the exile more then others. So much so, that she became bittle, nullified in this light. She reached it through the way of tears and crying. Chazal teach us that Hashem never returns tears unanswered. That the gates of regular prayer may be at times closed but through the ways of tears and a broken heart, the gates, simply must open.

 

The holy Rav Zusia was known to reach everything in learning through crying like a simple child. When his students would ask him a question in the Torah, he would leave the room and go to his office and there he poured out his heart in weeping until Hashem simply received him the answer.

 

It takes a strong man to admit that his mind is simply too constricted to take in higher knowledge. For some, the lack of understanding is a sign that it is too soon to learn such higher wisdom but for others, the only way to achieve, is to push through the minds immaturity and through heavenly mercy; their mind would open like a sea of water.

 

Rabbi Chaim Vital asked the Arizal, “Why he was worthy of all this wisdom. He responded that he had worked very hard at it. Reb Chaim countered, “The Ramak and I, also worked very hard.” He answered, “Yes, you worked very hard, more than anyone else in this generation, but you did not work as hard as me.

 

Now working hard doesn’t always mean to reach above oneself but sometimes it can mean keeping oneself down at the level they should really be at. This can be more difficult then simply letting yourself go at will. A person has to know themselves very well and clearly see themselves. This can only be done through mussar and hisbodidus, Jewish Meditation. (See my Sefer Kavanos Halev, Chapter Jewish Meditation) Otherwise they can work hard but achieve very little. Maybe even loose what they have already attained. Even this level of clearly seeing oneself is impossible without praying and weeping.

 

Rav Zusia understood this while on his deathbed surrounded by his disciples. He was crying and no one was able to comfort him. One student asked his Rebbe, “Why do you cry? You were almost as wise as Moses and as kind as Abraham.” The Rebbe responded, “When I pass from this world and appear before the Heavenly Tribunal, they won’t ask me, “Zusha, why weren’t you as wise as Moses or as kind as Abraham,” rather, they will ask me, “Zusha, why weren’t you Zusha?” He continued, “Why didn’t I fulfill my potential, why didn’t I follow the path that could have been mine.”

My friends, it’s not enough to be great and wise. You have to be intelligent in your own way and through the uniqueness of your soul. Otherwise, what are you really accomplishing? Fulfilling others expectations and dreams, is what we are here for? Part of toiling for knowledge is breaking through peer pressure and self-pride, by making a commitment to your soul that you will care for it and treasure it. It is not difficult to see that the soul weeps, my friends. Only through its knowing that you will nurse it in this trying world will the soul ever stop lamenting. After-all, it only seeks to be kept pure and nullified in Hashem’s light.

What is a tear drop? It contains both the properties of water and salt. In Sefer Yetzirah, it says that water is compared to Chochmah, wisdom and salt we know, cleans wounds and it is also brings out the taste inherit in food. We can compare this to the tears which come from a person lishmah, heartfelt and with the proper intentions. They can lead to opening the gates of wisdom, bring out the good within a person while separating out the bad, and they can heal the pains of the heart. Tears also take out emotions and thoughts which are stuck inside person while also opening a new area for newer and happier thoughts. It can bring out knowledge which has already been attained but forgotten and as we learned from Rav Zusia, it can open the same gates as one who is inherently wise.

October 12, 2006

2 new videos

Filed under: Website Kvetching — Reb Moshe @ 5:48 pm

Well today I got back to work and completed 2 new videos (which need to be edited) . One is on raising a Jewish family/children and the other one is my chiddushim on psalm 6

I still didn’t receive the new chargers so I only have battery power now which is running very low.

We have 4 girls eating by us friday night for simchas Torah.

I also decided to hire new designers again for the sites. Why I am doing this when I have no money…