The little Jew said, “I think I can, I think I can”

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I just got an email from a new cousin that found the site and is related to me. He submitted this video for everyone to see.

Right now it is pretty clear there is extreme amounts of judgment in the world. Everywhere you turn, there is another person struggling. I am hearing even from those non religious that the only place they are feeling safe right now is the Synagoge. This shows where the answer lies to all our sufferings. We have to all return in a more pure teshuva, repentance. One that is with all heart and fear of Hashem.

You have 3 types of people that act in a certain way in all situations of life. For example, we will use the wash basin at the mikvah. One type of person will just wash his hands and not even give a second thought to filling up the basin again after he is finished. This type of person, I can’t heal through my teachings of Torah. They need a far greater teacher. The next type of person is the guy who after he washes his hands, automaticly fills up the basin again without thinking twice. This person I can’t heal either because he doesn’t need me, he is far advanced and happy is his lot. Then you have the person who washes his hands and thinks to himself, should I fill up the basin for the next guy. In most situation he doesn’t but sometimes he does. This is who I can try to help heal and teach Torah too. These are the people I can relate too and together we can grow close to Hashem.

Once upon a time there was a bmx freestyler who had thousands of people who would come and watch his tricks. It would bring smiles to their faces and watching him would help them get through their difficult days. Then one day, his bicicyle broke and he could no longer do tricks anymore. He wondered why the people still came, where they there to make fun of him? Where they waiting till a miricle would happen and a new bike would just fall from the sky? He wondered this every day but said nothing. He pushed away the thought that nobody would come forward and give him their bike. After-all, today, most people have bikes. This wasn’t his way though. So he simply joined them in waiting for the bike to fall from heaven. Finally, one day, he realized how alone he really was without his bike. He wondered who really cared. Even he started to stop caring, thinking of himself as a freak show. He thought, “Why has this happened to me? Maybe I should have never rode a bike”.

Today at the guy, (yes this is where I receive many spiritual revelations) I was pondering how great is the elevation between these two Sefiros. In fact, if it wasn’t for their connection, there would be no world that we live in. I believe I heard Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss once say, the distance between these two Sefiros is similar to 500 years. In my meditation, I have learned over the years not to take for granted connecting even Malchus of Asiyah to Yesod of Asiyah. This itself is an endless Tikkun with much greatness. The best way to connect to anything is to have full concentration on it. One can meditate on the lower name of Adna. He can break this down by spelling it, Aleph Dalid…. Then he can break it down again by spelling each letter Aleph Lamid Peh…. Then even further spelling even those letters out. So I was thinking how deep is the connection between these two Sefiros. One could meditate on them for a week never needing to go up to Hod, the next Sefirah. In our own life, you know how deep it is to fix one midah. Even one part of 1/100th of that midah. To take it and break it down and figure out the remedy at its source. It is like the sharp shooter, he doesn’t settle for anything less then a bulls-eye. Snap, snap, snap he takes out 1/100th, one at a time. Malchus to Yesod, if you just meditate on it simply, you really don’t grasp it. You have to try to understand it and break it down. Then when you go to Hod, Malchus and Yesod are totally complete. Being a perfect foundation. So too with our life, we have to break ourselves down into little pieces and start fixing ourselves. I don’t think we learn this lesson any more of a time then searching for chamitz on Pesach. The learning of Halacha, helps us with this attitude of breaking the vast knowledge and information down. Okay, that about covers my thoughts at the gym tonight. Common folks, get on that treadmill and think of Torah!

It is pretty clear to me that this no fear policy in serving Hashem I received from the Tanya. The Rebbe tells us that one way to defeat the Satan is to never fear him and his evil. For me, I took this to understand that in my avodas Hashem, if there are warnings not to do something due to the attention on high it would bring me or the difficulties that surround it. I must be brave and should it be the will of Hashem, continue on anyway. This really isn’t the regular idea of carrying out actions but it is a policy I feel strongly about. Actually, for me, it is the main teaching I cherish from the Tanya. After a difficult couple years though, I decided to take the other direction for a change. This was after a lot of pressure from a former chavrusa, study partner of mine who thought my “floor it through a red light” attitude was the cause of much of my suffering. I’m reminded that I am standing at this crossroads when there has been recent requests for me to write kamayas, segulos for health and parnasa. Also, for a while I took more of a low key hoping this would change my mazel. So which way will I direct myself now I ponder? Well turning back to look, I saw no significant positive change by taking the “scared root”. So, for now, I am bracing myself for a turn again towards the “go go go attitude and I hope to fall out somewhere in the center. After-all, I’m not getting any younger and the “floor it” guy is a bit tired. But if I had the gusto of old, I wouldn’t think twice. The Bal HaTanya seems correct, you can’t live your life in fear of evil attacking you because of doing good things. At the same time, if you don’t got no kochas (energy), build a stronger Yesod, foundation so you can blast back up in the future.

Today is my eldest sons 7th birthday. We are really happy for him and giving him a small party with his friends. As a father, I look back at the 7 years and think how I could have been a better dad. I see his failors and consider them my own. I also see his success and join in this joy. One thing for sure, being a father is on the job training and there is so much still to learn.

Life without a video camera hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I get an inspiration to do a new Torah Video and then realize that there is no camera. I’m still asked by people, when are you coming out with a new video as it has been a long time. Most people never visit the blog so they don’t know the camera is broken. Yesterday I went on ebay thinking, you know what, I will go find a used one I can work with. Then I reminded myself that there is no budget for such things.

I call upon all families during these difficult times to be more patient with one another. Be slow to anger, patient, warm, comforting and supportive. The Talmud explains that many families fall apart during times of financial stress. Let us not let this difficult time period take the best of us but rather channel this energy into coming closer together! Let us open our ears to our friends trouble and show them support. Together, with achdus we can all overcome this time period of economic grief. Don’t hold onto your savings while seeing another suffer and loose their home. Now is the time to show yourself how much you care for others. When you do a chesed, kindness for another, Hashem will in return bring you kindess. You can never loose from doing a good act, especially in giving charity.

(I just returned from the Arizal’s Grave, davened for many of you by name.)

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Saw this in the zohar this shabbos after my morning mikvah (Parshas Mishpatim 124a) In the times of the Temple, it was tradition for Jews to travel 3 times a year to Jerusalem to celebrate the major holidays. One year during this time, they noticed many idolaters mingled with them. That year there was no blesssing in the world. So they brought this up with Rav Cham’nua the Elder for advice. He asked, “Did you see anything different”. They replied, we noticed on our return journey that the rivers were dried up, and there were dark clouds so that many pilgrims couldn’t see their way. Rab Cham’nuna trembled and told them as followers: There is no doubt that among you were some who were uncircumcised and idolaters who were mingling themselves in your company. For at the time blessings come into the world only through circumcised Israelites. Hashem looks down and sees this holiness of his people (separated) and sends down the blessing. The next year they were more careful and when they noticed the idolaters, they separated from them. That year was one of rich blessings in the world and everyone gave much praise. So why has America of all places been targeted by the economic problems? It is because of all Jewish areas in the world, America Jews the most have intermingled with idolaters and idealistic ways. Even if you go to Iran and see the Jews there, (there is actually a community there) they keep separated from the goyim. For a long time Americans have bought large houses, fancy cars, big screen TVs, fancy cloths and intermingled with other nations. Thereby, whenever it has been time for blessing to come into the world, it flowed from Jerusalem and went to all corners of the world. When Hashem could not find his holy covenant protected and separated in America, the blessing stopped flowing there. This is exactly what happened with the Jews in Jerusalem during their pilgrimage. They didn’t think twice about who they were intermingling with so there was no bracha, blessing. All blessing in each place of the world depends upon the Jews there and their actions. As soon as Jews start to separate themselves and this truly means, living different and holier, the economic problem will change immediately. This change starts with one person and then that one person effects the next. Now why has the economic problem also hit us Americans living in Israel. Well in truth, we still have trouble separating ourselves from the ways of the idolaters. When we do so, we too can be included in the blessings of Eretz Yisrael. Now of course this problem is also global but it has mainly hit those areas that have intermingled the most. Just like in the times of the Temple, blessing changed right away the next year when they made changes, so too, the problems in America will soon begin to change as Jews are reflecting more and more about what is important. May Hashem look down and see the suffering of his people and say, ENOUGH!

There will be ruff times ahead for all of us but it will be those who do hisbodidus, talking to Hashem daily who will get through it all without confusion. Make a commmitment right now to talk to Hashem in private daily at a specific time.

When I meditate on Kabbalistic ideas, my main method is to start slowly and speed up faster and faster. This puts me in a trans like state and when I reach it, I either continue to go faster or I stop and then let my mind go afloat at this high point. When I think of a thought, I am there completely and with practice I can do this with my eyes open or even while having a conversation. The speed of thought that one can reach through this type of trance is so fast that the entire method of thought taught in the previous post can take but seconds. I specifically like meditations which are not like this but can be used in a repetitive form. For instance, the climbing of Sefiros is something endless. The climbing of worlds, endless. As you climb, you think quicker and quicker. With practice, as I said before, you are really in two places at once. In fact, I actually prefer this. To me it is quite lonely to meditate in total stillness. Using the atmosphere around you can sometimes motivate you all the more. Really though, the mind is able to process a complicated algorithm or Yichud with tremendous speed once it is practiced enough. Opening and closing ones senses also can be used as a tool of meditation. People have asked, since I am a person with a lot of energy, how can I be skilled in meditation. The answer is that I have learned to use this to my advantage. Channeling it within the meditation itself. I used to break my nature and sit for hours meditating but saw this was unnecessary. It is not how long you meditate for but how much you are able to include in the time and way that you think. I have surprised myself with these latest posts, I usually keep these details private. This is enough for today, adios amigos

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. This means two things. 1. I am getting old 2. I am married a long time Mazel tov

I want to encourage those who are awake at night to go to the mikvah after Chatzos before sunrise. To me there appears to be a significant difference in holiness attained in the mikvah at this time. This is because there is a much higher possible attachment to Hashem during this late night watch. Especially on Shabbos, it appears to me that the morning mikvah before sunrise is much higher.

This is my own personal daily mikvah Kavanos
Starts with the holy tikun Baal Shem Tov. If you don’t understand it on your own, probably best not to do
Dunk one time
Mikvah is gematria Kana 151, which is the name Aleph-Heh-Yud-Kay expanded with Hay, Aleph, Lamid,Peh-Hay-Hay,Yud-vav-dalid-hay-hay
Second Time
Aleph-Gimel-Lamid-Aleph from the posuk, Ata Gebor Leohlom Adna
Third Time
Aleph-Lamid-Dalid which the Dalid is equal to the Aleph and Gimel added together. This word means to give birth and become new. This name is one of the 72 Holy Names
Forth Time
Mix the Name Aleph-Lamid-Dalid with EKYH Aleph-Lamid-Peh, Aleph, Hey-Hey,Lamid,Yud-Hey-Dalid,Dalid,Hey-Hey
Meditate on your prayers that you think under the water that they are inside this name
Fith Time
Aleph=Aleph=Hey=Lamid=Yud=Dalid=Hey Meditate then you are elevating your prayers to Binah and then they will be accepted with Pure love and Mercy

Tikkun Completed
6 Dunk (I modifed from a teaching from the Ari)
Connect yourself to Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochai in the Sefirah of Hod of Hod, have in mind that you are elevating his neshamah with yours to Binah and slowly climb this though process, Netzach, Tiferet, Gevurah, Chesed, Binah
7 Dunk,
Same as 6 using Netzach with the neshamah of Rebbe Nachman Ben Simcha/faiga
or You can choise another Tzaddik whom you have an idea what Sefriah they connected too mainly. For instance, Yosef was Yesod. Avraham Chesed. Alternatively and more simply, think the name of any Tzaddik living or dead and then immerse with the intention to connect your neshamah to them.

I called up one of the many gabi’s I know and told him as follows. When I get to the next world, they are going to ask me, “Moshe, why were you a sinner”. I will respond, “Because I tried and couldn’t get connected to the Rebbe on the phone. I wanted to get help. They will ask me back, “Did you try hard enough. Maybe you should have called the gabi and pushed more.” I could hear the gabi breathing heavy in the background knowing that I was hinting to blame him. Then I said, “Maybe it was my fault that I didn’t jump on a plane to see him.” The gabi signed a breath of relief. Then I gave over my message to forward and I concluded to the gabi as follows. Look it has been a long time, I need you to try harder for me as well.